The Kinky Adventures of Norway
by dk7890
Summary: Norways love life gets a little to crazy... and kinky. Warning: yaoi, sex, and much more. Rated M for a reason. UPDATED WITH CHAPTER 3
1. Chapter 1

Ok first off, I don't own Hetalia or any of the characters. Next, this has yaoi, gay sex, cursing, and stuff like that that's not suitable for anyone under the age of 18… but if you're like me you will most likely read it anyway. This will have many chapters that will have Norway paired with others.

This is the first time I wrote anything that counts as a story and I have trouble with spelling and grammar so thank you Denmark for editing the whole thing for me and for the idea of adding THAT. And thank you, Norway and Sweden for inspiring the story over that MSN chat.

Concentrating on what his friends are messaging him over MSN, Norway didn't notice his ugly, green troll come up behind him. _Bing! _On the screen it read:

_From Denmark:_

_You know you love it when I touch your curl, Norge. xD_

_From Sweden:_

_ Really, Denmark, does he really like it that much? It _is_ just a piece of hair._

_From Denmark:_

_ Oh, he likes it A LOT! I can make him orgasm just with that one little hair. _

Norway blushes and quickly types back that Denmark is a lying ass, but in reality it's all true. He loves the way Denmark touches, twirls, and fingers his little curl. Another _Bing! _brings him back from him memories of Denmark.

_From Iceland:_

_ Norway, your curl is still sensitive? I thought you would have out-grown that._

_From Denmark: _

_ What are you talking about, Ice?_

_From Iceland:_

_ When we were younger, if you touched his curl he would react to it… and apparently he still does._

Norway starts to tap the keys, attempting to defend himself. Behind him, his troll is reading everything that pops up. Wondering if what they're saying is true, the troll pokes Norway's curl.

"Ah!" Norway squeaked. Turning around to see who poked his curl, he finds his green, floating friend smiling. Now that the troll knows that the curl is sensitive, he grabs it and pulls.

"Neh! What are you doing?!" Norway yells out. His only response is his troll rubbing the curl between his fingers. "Ah ah… stop this n-now!" Norway gasps out, which only pleases the troll more.

Norway's body starts to react to the pleasure of his curl being touched and his member starts pushing against his pants. He hears distant _Bings!_ from the computer but can't make himself type back.

His troll notices the bulge by Norway's hips, and being his curious self, starts to rub and massage it. Norway can't speak; the only sounds he makes are moans and sharp breaths. Soon he is dragged across the room onto his bed and his pants are being pulled off his legs.

He whines when his troll leaves him to search the room, who finds lube and, curiously, a spatula. When he comes back, Norway has his chest to the bed, his ass in the air, and his hand pumping his own erection. The troll then coats the spatula with lube and starts to tease Norway's entrance with it.

Becoming impatient, Norway shoves back on the spatula, which causes it to go deep inside him. The troll, sensing what Norway wants, starts to drive the spatula in and out. Norway, loving the feel of metal in his ass, starts to pleasure himself again.

After a short time of getting used to the feeling, the troll picks up his speed with pumping and Norway does the same.

"Oh… I'm going to-ah-… come!" Norway screams and comes in his hand. The troll pulls out the spatula, and Norway collapses flat on the bed. Soon, he relaxes and falls into a dreamless sleep.

And that's it for chapter one. I need motivation to finish chapter two, which has Denmark finding Norway in the morning, so please review.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok the 2nd chapter is done! thank you Denmark for editing it for me. If you liked the norwayXtroll thing Denmark made a fan page on facebook called norwayXtroll+spatula. sorry that it took so long.

* * *

"Christ on a snail!"

Norway jumps awake in his bed. Looking around, he finds Denmark in the doorway to his room.

"Shit Norge! Who did you last night? I know it wasn't your brother - he was online asking where you were. So~… who came over and did this to my Norge?" the Dane asks with a cocky smile.

Norway can't speak; he can only stare at the scene around him. The bed sheets are wrapped around his legs, covered in dried semen and blood from the night before. His whole body is in Denmark's sight, and Norway can tell he was drinking him in.

"Nothing happened," the Norwegian mutters. "Can you leave so I can get dressed?"

"Sure Norway, I'll go." Denmark turns and takes a step toward the door. "Or… I could stay here with you!" He turns back around and dashes across the room. Before Norway can react he's pinned to the bed, arms held above his head, a leg pushing apart his own, and the Dane's tongue exploring his mouth.

"Stoppe det! Danmark, nei!" Norway yells when Denmark takes a breath. He couldn't have this happen now, he needs to find his troll and find out why he raped him.

"But Norge, seeing you shocked and vulnerable got me horny," Denmark says with a fake frown. "Plus, it's not every day that I come over and find you… naked." A devilish light builds in his eyes as he looks down at the Norwegian.

"No, I don't have time for this now, Denmark."

"What are you talking about? We have at least three hours before we need to go. That's plenty of time to fuck and take a quick shower together."

"Where are we going?" Norway asks, confused.

"It's drinking night, Norge! With Ice, Sve, and Finny? We talked about it online last night."

"Well I wasn't on last night! Don't make plans without me, asshole!" Norway yells in the Dane's face. In Denmark's surprise at the outburst of emotion, Norway fights free. As he runs to the bathroom, the Norwegian grabs yesterday's discarded clothes off the floor. The Dane stays sitting on the bed as the other cleans up in the bathroom.

When Norway exits the bathroom, Denmark is laying on the bed staring up at the ceiling like it holds the story of what happened. He keeps moving out of his bedroom and toward the kitchen to eat leftover smoked salmon. "Hey, Denmark? You want some–"

"SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER! What the _hell_ did you do last night?" Denmark yells throughout the house.

"What?" Norway asks as he quickly goes back to his room.

"_That!_" Denmark is on his feet next to the bed, his arm is pointing at a spatula covered in dry lube and flaking blood.

"Uh, that's, um…" The smaller blonde looks down at the kitchen utensil, almost forgetting that it was the tool that raped him.

"Wow, just… wow. You had all this messed up fun without me, and now that I, the King of Northern Europe, am here, you refuse to have fun with me? That hurts me Norge, really hurts," the Dane's tone is joking but the emotion in his eyes is absolute pain. Norway sees it before the other turns back to look at the spatula. In a rare show of caring, Norway moves in front of taller man and pulls him by the collar for a kiss.

After a second of surprise, the Dane wraps his arms around his lover's waist. The kiss deepens, mouths opening to let tongues battle. When they stop for air Norway pulls away and reaches for the spatula. Denmark beats him to it and pushes Norway face-first onto the bed.

Norway feels hands at his waist working the buckle of his belt. Clothes leave his skin, and he hisses as the cold air invades. Kisses are making their way from his neck to his ear.

"If you think you can walk away after kissing me like that you must be crazy," Denmark whispers sexually, causing Norway to shiver. Fingers are pressed to the Norwegian's mouth, craving to gain entrance. He opens his mouth, and knowing Denmark won't stop now, starts to lick and suck on the digits.

Noticing that Norway isn't fighting, Denmark removes his clothes one-handed, freeing his semi-hard erection from his tight pants. He feels that his fingers are moist and removes them from Norway's talented tongue, and uses two to stretch the smaller man's entrance.

"Norge, that spatula really cut you up in here," the Dane says as he twists his wrist, adding a third finger.

"It – oh – was good pain. Use it Danmark, please?" Norway's voice is shaky and out of breath, his face turning an intense shade of red.

"Fine, if you want," he huffs, "If it hurts too much tell me." Denmark gets the utensil from where it fell and slowly inserts it in the Norwegian.

Hisses and moans are the sound in the room until Norway shouts, "Danmark!" as the metal brushes his prostate. Hearing his name shouted he felt that his vital region could use more attention.

"Okay, Norge, I think it's time you sucked me off or something," Denmark insists.

"But… it feels too good." Norway pushes back to make the spatula move inside him. "Don't stop now, Anko."

"You know, you shouldn't piss off the one making you orgasm." Denmark pulls out the utensil and tosses it to the floor. He grabs the Norwegian's legs, flipping him onto his back.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Norway stammers as he is pulled closer and his legs are lifted onto the Dane's shoulders. Denmark then leans over and roughly kisses the Norwegian on the mouth, silencing all talking.

"This is what happens when I don't get what I want, Norway," the Dane says in an irritated tone. He then positions his neglected hardness by the cut-up entrance. "I hope you're ready for this, Norge." There's a smirk on the Dane's face as he drives relentlessly into Norway.

The smaller man screams as Denmark's dick rubs against the fresh cuts inside him. Denmark leans down and kisses Norway's neck, whispering calming words. Norway relaxes and the pleasure outgrew the pain. Both males pant with quiet moans and words of ecstasy leaving their lips. Denmark starts to move at a faster rhythm, with Norway under him twisting to have his little bundle of nerves hit with each thrust.

The males don't hear the light footsteps as a figure enters the doorway. Norway was the first to notice, looking shocked toward the door. Denmark stops moving to see what had distracted his lover from their love-making and notices a young man with dark chin-length hair, slightly bushy eyebrows, and light brown eyes that are wide with shock.

"Hej, Hong Kong! Want to join us? Or… just keep watching?" Denmark asks with a leer.

The Chinese man looks at Denmark, and then glances at Norway, starting to calm down. "Sorry I interrupted you both… I just came to talk to Norway."

"Oh, well as you can see he is _busy_ with me. So if you're not going to join us then _leave_." Denmark stares fiercely at Hong Kong, annoyed at his lingering presence. Norway becomes furious at the fact that Denmark would ask someone to join them; he lifts his legs off the Dane's shoulders.

"Danmark, get off me now." The Norwegian puts a foot to the Danish man's chest to emphasize the fact he wants him off. "I'm not busy at all, so I'll be talking to Hong Kong now."

The Dane's glare turns on Norway. "Fine then… I'll go take a shower because _I'm not in the middle of doing something._" He moves away and grabs his clothes off the floor, then leaves the room.

Hong Kong had watched the small argument with no expression. "I'm sorry again, but I need to talk to you about your brother."

* * *

Stoppe det! Danmark, nei! - Norwegian for Stop it! Denmark, no!  
Danmark - Norwegian for Denmark  
Norge - Danish for Norway  
Hej - Danish  
Anko - Norway called Denmark "anko" (red bean paste) as children

And thats it for chapter 2. please make my day and reviwe.


	3. Chapter 3

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! They made so happy~! You all get hugs and love. So, as thanks you get chapter 3! Sorry no sex scene in this chapter, but they talk about it (a lot). I suck at spelling and grammar and sentence stuff so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. Oh and I'm sorry if my history is wrong. Ok now have fun reading.

"What do you mean you want to talk about my brother?" Norway questioned Hong Kong as he slipped a pair of boxers on. None of the countries cared about being seen nude anymore. Estonia had started a porn site, which became a hit with some countries like France, Spain, and Prussia, who then went on rampages to get photos of everyone naked.

"Well, as you know, Ice and I are dating. And recently, and we have been trying to move farther in our relationship but Ice seems to have a problem." Hong Kong explained in his usually monotone. He was watching Norway move around the room picking out clothes from drawers.

"So you're telling me Iceland, my baby brother, has a problem with having sex and you want _me_ to help _you _solve it?" Norway's tone changed just enough that Hong Kong could tell he was angry.

"It's hard to explain, but Iceland said he can't have a healthy sexual relationship because all his life he was raped, on many occasions by different people." Hong Kong paused for a moment to think. "In his mind, if he has consensual sex with the first person that raped him everything will be ok. I truly don't understand this concept, but it's what Iceland wants so I'm willing to try it."

"Iceland told you about his past?" the Norwegian couldn't look at the younger man.

"Yes, he told me that, in your younger days, you liked to touch little boys." The Asian smirked for a second seeing the other tense up. "I know you probably want to keep this secret, so I'll make a deal with you."

Norway let rage he felt leak into his tone, "and what would this deal be?"

"That you will have sex with Iceland, while I am present. That's all you have to do, and I promise not to bother you about this topic again." The smirk didn't leave his face this time and he watched Norway think over his proposition.

"Why do you have to be there?"

"I'm his boyfriend."

"Then I should be there!" Denmark stated as he poked his head in the room.

"No." The smaller men said at the same time.

The Dane moved to fill the door way. His hair was weighed down by the water from the shower he had finished. He had put on a red t-shirt with 'Danmark' written in block letters across the chest and dark jeans. "Why can I be there if Norway's my fuck buddy?" Denmark whined and pouted.

"Because_ Iceland_ isn't you're fuck buddy." Hong Kong answered swiftly.

"And you aren't touching my brother." Norway continued.

"But I already have." Demark muttered. Norway quickly walked over to the taller blond, grabbed the front of his shirt, twisted, and pulled down sharply. Thus causing Denmark to choke and become face to face with the smaller nation.

Norway's features were unemotional as he looked in Denmark's slightly panicked eyes. "You will never touch Iceland again. He's told me the things you did to him when he was under your rule." Denmark started to struggle against the hold, and Norway let go.

"I only did those things… because you left me… and I was… pissed off and horny." Denmark panted. The old memories started to flood back into his mind and he glared as he caught his breath.

Norway shook his head. "Get out Denmark, go get drunk with Sweden and Finland."

The glare intensified. "Fine, have fun fucking your brother!" he stormed out and after a minute the front door slammed.

"Sorry, you had to see that, Hong Kong." Norway said after a minute. He turned and saw the brunette nod. "So, when can we get this over with?" he continued reluctantly.

"Tonight would be best, if you don't mind" Hong Kong wanted this done soon so he could have Iceland for himself.

Norway groaned, which was odd since his face showed no emotion. "Okay, go get him"

So, did I do well? It's been a year, so please don't hate me. And I'm sorry about it being so short and the whole fight between Norway and Denmark but that how I see them. Fighting and fucking with random times of sweetness thrown in. And if you couldn't tell Norway X Iceland + Hong Kong is going to be the next chapter. Not sure how I'm going to write that but if I get a review or two it might help. (They make me so happy you don't even know.)


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